That Heavy Secret
by Sinnatious
Summary: 1827. Tsuna has a secret he hasn't told anyone.


Disclaimer: KHR does not belong to me.

Warnings: Violence, some language, attempted non-con and elements of shonen-ai. If any of these things offend you, please don't read. Minor spoilers for Varia arc.

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**That Heavy Secret**

By Sinnatious

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Tsuna hadn't ever told anyone.

Wide brown eyes tracked the prefect's path through the halls unerringly as students parted in his path like a wave. He, Gokudera and Yamamoto were the only ones who didn't go out of their way to move.

"Hi-Hibari-san!" Tsuna stuttered.

"Hey, Hibari," Yamamoto greeted with a friendly wave, while Gokudera muttered something uncomplimentary under his breath.

"Crowding around again?" Hibari asked.

"Just on our way to class," Yamamoto replied cheerfully, completely oblivious to the threat.

Thankfully, Hibari didn't draw his tonfas. "Hn." He continued walking past them, expression bored. Tsuna held his breath when those cold eyes passed over him, and their gazes locked.

It was just for an instant, but it felt like an eternity.

_'I still haven't told. I never will.'_

Hibari smirked and continued on his way, jacket hung loosely over his shoulders. The student body as a collective seemed to let out a breath of relief at his passing.

"Alright there, Tsuna?" Yamamoto asked, patting his back with a smile.

"Baseball idiot! Don't act so familiar with the Tenth!"

"It's fine, Gokudera, Yamamoto," Tsuna hurriedly reassured them. Carefully, he glanced over his shoulder, but the prefect was gone.

Tsuna was never sure how to act around Hibari. It wasn't that he wasn't scared - he definitely was, anyone with half a brain was - but he sort of admired him. He was everything he wasn't. Strong. Talented. Sure of himself. Nobody would even _think_ of calling Hibari 'No Good'. And he was also a part of the family, in a very loose way. But there was that history between them - that incident pressing heavily on his mind.

It was a secret. He and Hibari were the only ones who knew. And Tsuna would sooner break omerta than tell.

Before Gokudera or Reborn had arrived from Italy, before Yamamoto learned his name, before any of that business with the mafia or the Vongola started... Hibari had killed a man.

……………………………

It was only a couple of weeks into his freshman year when it happened.

It didn't take Tsuna long at all to fall to the bottom of the food chain in Namimori Middle School. Pathetic at sports, pathetic at schoolwork, a spineless coward… it was only a matter of time until the bullies descended upon him. Every day was an exercise in misery. The days in which he managed to go unnoticed by his peers were the better ones.

That day hadn't been one of the better ones. He'd been cornered at the start of lunch and forced to hand over both his money and lunchbox. He didn't have any friends to share with after that, so Tsuna went hungry. Then that afternoon everyone else skipped out on cleaning duty, leaving him to finish up alone.

He sighed despondently as he put out the last of the garbage. The sun was starting to set. He was going to be late home again.

He shuffled home, thoroughly depressed after another day of being 'No-Good' Tsuna. His melancholy occupied all of his attention – that was probably why he didn't notice the thickset man in the alleyway until he grabbed his arm.

"HIIIIIEEEE?" He practically shrieked in his surprise.

"Shut up kid!" Tsuna didn't want to judge by appearances, but this man was scary-looking! His face was covered in stubble, and he wore a fierce scowl. The top button of his shirt was undone, and the edge of a tattoo was visible. He was definitely terrifying!

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry!" he apologised frantically. "I wasn't looking where I was going-" He was babbling, talking on automatic.

"Whatever. Give me your money."

Was this… was this a mugging?

Tsuna knew he was easy prey. He was extorted and beaten up for money all the time by his peers, but this was the first time an adult had picked on him. Terror coursed through his body.

"I don't- I don't have any money, I'm just a student-" he protested feebly. The bullies hadn't left any for him at all. His stomach growled at the reminder.

"You think I'm stupid? All you kids walk around loaded with cash to spend at the arcades. Hand it over," he repeated; voice growing more threatening.

"I don't-" Tsuna started to repeat, but nearly bit his tongue off when a heavy fist collided with the side of his face. He hit the ground hard, cheek scraping against the coarse gravel, then gasped when a foot slammed into his stomach.

"Hand. It. _Over_!" The stranger enunciated each word with a hit, and Tsuna curled in on himself. He was jerked back up by the neck of his shirt and slammed against the wall. His ears were left ringing.

"I really don't-" he whimpered. God, why must he so pathetic? Why didn't someone come and stop him? The streets weren't that empty yet. Surely somebody-

Of course nobody would come to help poor No-Good Tsuna. He grit his teeth. He'd just deal with it. It wasn't any different from the regular bullies – when he saw he didn't have any money, he'd beat him up and then leave.

Hands were in his pockets now, turning them out. His wallet was recovered and opened, but just as he'd said, there was no money inside. It was thrown to ground with a dull thud.

"F'ck… wasted my time," he mumbled, then shoved the freshman back against the wall. "Guess I'll take something else then."

Tsuna didn't get what he meant until a hand tugged violently on the waist of his pants. He wasn't…

He changed his mind. Adults were _much_ worse than school bullies.

"Stop! Somebody help!" Tsuna cried, trying to shove the stranger away, squirming in a panicked effort to escape his grip. He threw a wild punch, but it was a pathetically weak blow and all he got was a torn shirt and a split lip for his efforts. One hand frantically tried to pull his pants back up, the other ineffectually trying to hold the stranger at bay. He closed his eyes, leaning away and tensing when he felt fingers grab _there_…

It was no good… he was…

"I thought I sensed evil intentions," a smooth voice interjected.

He turned slightly, and Tsuna caught sight of a Namimori middle school uniform and a red armband.

"Who are you?" His assailant wasn't too pleased at being interrupted.

It was Hibari Kyouya. Tsuna had only seen him twice before - once patrolling the halls, and the other time beating up a fellow freshman for being late. He'd heard the stories, though - even a No Good loser like himself knew about the disciplinary committee.

Cold eyes surveyed them, judging. "You go to Namimori Middle School," he stated, ignoring the man.

"Y-y-yes," Tsuna stammered, face burning.

"Name?"

Tsuna had a long history of humiliation in his life, but this was the worst. The feared head of the disciplinary committee, seeing him covered in bruises and with his shirt torn and pants around his knees. How weak must he think him? When he'd wanted someone to come help, this was the last person he would hope to show up. "S-S-Sawada Tsu-" he began, but was cut off when a hand slammed against his throat.

"I'm not interested in your chit-chat!"

Tsuna choked, mouth opening and closing in a desperate effort to draw air.

"That is Namimori Middle School property. Unhand him, or I will bite you to death."

"Get lost, brat, or you can join him!"

It all happened so fast Tsuna could barely follow. His attacker was wrenched away - there was a flash of silver - the thud of steel hitting flesh - the sound of cracking bone splitting the air.

Blood dripped from a pair of tonfas. The man slumped to the ground, eyes vacant and unseeing, head twisted at an unnatural angle.

Tsuna slid down against the wall; his eyes were wide in shock, injuries forgotten.

He was dead.

He just stared, incapable of doing anything else as he heaved in desperate gulps of air.

"Herbivore."

It was as though the word kick-started his brain into working again. Belatedly, the sting and ache of his injuries made themselves known to him. With a monumental effort, Tsuna hauled himself to his feet, dragging his pants back up and fumbling with his belt. He felt like crying, but his eyes remained dry. If Hibari hadn't come along… if Hibari hadn't…

That man was dead, though. Dead. Murdered.

"Can you walk?" Hibari's tone was cool and uncaring. Didn't he realise what had happened? Didn't he realise that he'd just killed a man?

Tsuna honestly didn't know if he _could_ walk – it felt like every part of him hurt, and his knees were shaking - but he nodded anyway. Apparently satisfied, Hibari turned on his heel and left without another word.

Just like that.

Tsuna turned back and stared at the body one last time, then hobbled home.

……………………………

"Tenth! Good morning!" Gokudera waved enthusiastically as he ran up to greet him.

"Ah, morning Gokudera," he replied with a weak smile.

Not a moment later, Yamamoto arrived as well. "Tsuna!"

"Greet the Tenth properly, baseball idiot!" Gokudera yelled – as though the mere sight of the Rain Guardian was reason enough to bring out the dynamite.

"Eeeeh, we're going to be late!" Tsuna realised, glancing at his watch. He set out at a run towards the school, with his friends able to keep up with him at an easy jog.

They made it on time, but only barely. The Disciplinary Committee wasn't guarding the gate, which could only mean that Hibari was keeping watch alone.

Sure enough, he was leaning against the post with his arms folded. Students hurried past in silence. Others further in the distance ran for the gate - even arriving only a few seconds after the bell could result in punishment when the prefect was in a bad mood.

As always, Tsuna found himself holding his breath when they walked past. He could feel Hibari's heavy stare on him - against his will, his eyes darted to the side. Their gazes locked. Tsuna held it, petrified, until Hibari closed his eyes, looking as bored as always.

The bell trilled, and they had to move to avoid being stampeded by the last of the students eager to avoid Hibari's wrath. The spell was broken.

"Coming, Tsuna?" Yamamoto asked. He'd fallen behind.

"Right!" He half-ran to catch up, glancing over his shoulder. Hibari stepped in front of a frantic student who'd been just a little too slow.

His fingers curled into a fist, nails digging painfully into the flesh of his palms.

They'd never spoken of it. Not even once.

Tsuna wasn't sure if he was supposed to thank him or not. But one thing he did know... he couldn't ever go to the police.

Because while it might have been Hibari who killed that man, Tsuna was the one who felt responsible.

It had been several days before it turned up on the news - a mysterious murder in peaceful Namimori. His mother had been all worried over it, and ordered him back home before dark each day. The police searched for the killer, but found nothing. After a couple of weeks, the story faded from the news. Presumably the case was eventually filed and abandoned. The victim had a history of crime - muggings, assault and robbery - and had served time in jail in the past. With a lack of witnesses and no suspects, nobody brought it up again.

For a while he'd been terrified - afraid that Hibari might beat him up daily to terrorize him into keeping his secret. Maybe even kill him. If anything, though, the prefect went easier on him than most. He'd still be beaten up for breaking the school rules or being late of course, but...

It just seemed like when the bullies were giving him a particularly hard time, Hibari would appear and they'd be scared off. Tsuna figured he was imagining it, but was happy to cling to the belief anyway. Hibari might have been the terror of Namimori Middle School... but he was also its protector.

That heavy secret still lay between them, but Tsuna had decided to let sleeping dogs lie. He wanted to forget about that horrible day and pretend it never happened.

Then Reborn showed up, Dying Will Bullets in tow.

He supposed Reborn might know. Tsuna had never told him, but Reborn always seemed to know everything. Sometimes he wondered if he'd used it to blackmail Hibari into becoming the Cloud Guardian, but the very idea of Hibari being blackmailed into anything was absurd.

That was when it all rushed back to him, and he couldn't ignore it or pretend anymore.

Hibari was now one of his Guardians.

Hibari had killed a man.

Technically, there was no one more perfect. Hibari _belonged_ in the mafia. He was more of a boss than Tsuna was already - building a nice little empire all on his own.

So why did he agree to become a Guardian? Tsuna couldn't wrap his mind around it.

Hibari had killed a man.

Hibari had saved him.

He didn't want it to be because of blackmail. He was indebted to Hibari, really. He hated death, didn't want to ever take a life, even if his current situation seemed to set him on that inevitable path... but he wasn't sorry that man had died.

That was perhaps was what made Tsuna feel the worst of all. Surely he should feel something more about that stranger's death. It was sickening, sure, but he wasn't feeling bad that he died... he felt guilty for not feeling worse. He felt bad that Hibari was the one to kill him.

It was all too confusing. Everything since that whole affair with the Varia had been so, so confusing.

"Tenth! Tenth!" A scrunched up paper ball bounced off the top of his head. Tsuna blinked.

"Sawada!" The teacher barked. He shot up out of his seat.

"Yes?!" he squeaked. He'd become so lost in his thoughts he hadn't paid attention during class! He didn't even remember taking his seat or answering attendance!

Annoyed, the teacher turned away. "Never mind. You're obviously not paying attention. Sasagawa! Read the next passage out."

The class tittered as he took his seat again, face burning.

"Don't mind, Tsuna," Yamamoto whispered. Several seats towards the front, he could hear Gokudera threatening anybody who dared to laugh at the Tenth.

Tsuna just smiled at his friends, ducking his head a little.

It was getting ridiculous. He ought to just take the risk and go talk to Hibari; get it all over and done with so that he knew where he stood. Preferably _before_ Reborn noticed and shot him with a dying will bullet.

……………………………

Tsuna may have decided to take the plunge and go talk to Hibari, but once standing outside the door to the reception room, the idea didn't seem so great.

It took a lot of effort and planning to even get this far. He had to make sure Reborn wasn't anywhere nearby – a near impossible feat in itself – and then ditch Gokudera and Yamamoto. And Ryohei. And any bullies who might take advantage of the absence of his friends.

Three false attempts later and he was finally in the clear. Yamamoto was at baseball practice. Gokudera was still laid up in the sick room after Bianchi had come to collect Lambo who had snuck into the school _yet again_. Ryohei had gone to run 'EXTREME' laps around the school. He wasn't likely to get another clear shot like this for a long time.

Screwing his eyes shut, he thrust his hand out to knock on the door… and hit fabric instead.

"What are you doing out here, Sawada Tsunayoshi?"

Dread curled in his stomach as he tentatively opened his eyes. His knuckles were brushing the buttons on Hibari's shirt.

He retracted the hand as though it burned. "Hiiiiiieee! Hi-Hibari-san!"

Cold blue eyes surveyed him with an air of disinterest. "How long were you planning on obstructing the hallway outside the reception room?"

"Oh! I-I'm sorry! Actually, I came here to talk to you, Hibari-san!" Tsuna squeaked.

A single elegant eyebrow was raised, and there was an expression of mild interest on the prefect's face now. "Oh?" Turning, he abruptly headed back into the reception room, school jacket flaring behind him.

Nervously, Tsuna followed, not entirely certain if he was invited and still a little shocked at not being bitten to death on sight. Hesitantly, he closed the door behind them. As terrifying as it was to willingly sequester himself in a room with the frightening head of the disciplinary committee, he really couldn't take the chance that they might be overheard.

Hibari had chosen a spot on the far wall to lean against; arms folded and looking out the window. Tsuna stood in the centre of the room and fiddled with his fingers, not quite sure what to do with himself now that he'd finally come this far. Everything he'd spent so long preparing to say flew out of his head.

The silence stretched.

Swallowing, he eventually mustered his courage and meekly began, "Hibari-san, about that day…"

"What day is that, herbivore?"

"That day when I was…" He could feel his face grow hot. "You know what day, Hibari-san!"

He covered his mouth reflexively, horrified at his outburst. He was going to be bitten to death for sure!

It appeared that Hibari was simply amused, however. "You'll have to be more specific, Sawada Tsunayoshi."

He was teasing him. He refused to say it aloud. How humiliating – that someone who was supposed to be the future boss of the Vongola had been forced into that humiliating position. "That day. When you… killed that man."

It was as though speaking the words aloud lifted an enormous weight from his shoulders. Although… was he really sure that was the only person Hibari had actually killed before?! He'd just assumed, but then, the prefect hadn't seem at all bothered by it…

"Oh, _that_ day. What about it?" Hibari asked in a bored tone.

"Did… Reborn by any chance… is that why you became the Guardian of Cloud?" Tsuna blurted.

"The baby?" He seemed thoughtful for a moment.

"Was it… did he… blackmail you?"

He scoffed. "Don't be ridiculous."

Right. It was a stupid suggestion. He'd known it was, but there was always that niggling doubt… "Then why?"

"Are you questioning me, herbivore?"

"N-No, of course not, but… Hibari-san, why did you-?"

"Kill that pathetic lifeform?"

Tsuna swallowed and nodded. He was having difficulty believing the callous tone his Cloud Guardian was taking towards the whole affair. Was it really so insignificant to the prefect?

"Did you not want me to kill that man, Sawada Tsunayoshi?" Hibari asked coolly, pushing off from the wall and approaching him with a measured stride.

"I-I don't think killing is-" he stuttered, backing away, hands held up disarmingly.

In one swift move, Tsuna found himself pressed against the wall, tonfa at his throat.

"Are you saying that you would prefer I had done nothing, Sawada Tsunayoshi?" The slightest of smirks grazed the prefect's lips.

"N-No..." Tsuna let out a squeak when a cold hand snuck under his shirt, brushing his stomach.

"Perhaps the truth is that you actually like that sort of thing." The hand slid further down, slipping underneath the waistband of his pants. Tsuna held his breath and screwed his eyes shut. His face felt like it was on fire. "Perhaps I should pick up where you were interrupted?"

"It wasn't-" He was finding it difficult to think about anything other than that hand. What was going on? This wasn't what he'd come here to do! And yet… and yet…

He could feel the wash of hot breath on his face. Almost unconsciously, Tsuna tilted his face upwards in expectation.

Nothing. The hand sliding into his pants withdrew, though the cold steel of the tonfa remained against his throat.

After what felt like an eternity, Tsuna opened his eyes. Hibari was staring at him, face only inches from his own – the smirk was gone, replaced with the usual unreadable expression.

"You are a strange herbivore."

Tsuna couldn't even argue with that anymore. What had he been expecting? Did he really think... did he really think that Hibari would... What about Kyoko?!

What would Kyoko have thought of the situation Hibari had saved him from? Hibari expected such weakness from him, but what would Kyoko's reaction be?

It was all a jumble in his head. Why had he come here anyway? Were his motives really so altruistic? If the truth of the matter came out, Hibari wouldn't be the only one in trouble – what would Kyoko and Gokudera and Yamamoto and everyone else think if they found out what exactly the Cloud Guardian had saved him from? How could he look them in the eye after that? Both of their fates were on the line. Though the price for murder was so much worse than his own humiliation.

"I won't tell," he declared loudly, with a conviction not felt in his quaking knees.

The edge of Hibari's mouth quirked. "It doesn't particularly bother me if you tell anyone, Sawada Tsunayoshi."

Impossible. Surely it must bother him at a least a bit? It was murder! No matter how far Hibari's reach stretched, the police wouldn't turn a blind eye to a murder. Did he really not care at all? "Even so, I'll never tell, no matter who asks. I promise."

Their gazes crashed together for another agonisingly long moment. Eventually, Hibari withdrew his tonfa and stepped back. "…Get out of here, herbivore, before I bite you to death."

Tsuna knew better than to stick around. He half-ran from the room, nearly barrelling into Kusakabe as he did so, muttering a string of apologies. He didn't stop running until he was well outside the school gates, where he finally allowed himself a breather and one stolen glance at the reception room windows.

It didn't go how he planned at all. What happened to all the things he was planning to say? Wasn't he supposed to either thank Hibari or berate him for killing that man? Demand a proper explanation of his motives in becoming the Cloud Guardian? He hadn't achieved what he wanted on any front.

Yet somehow… it was a relief. It felt like they'd finally resolved something.

His fingers ghosted across his face, recalling the warm puff of Hibari's breath. The almost featherlike touch across his stomach.

Tsuna would never tell, and Hibari wouldn't either. There was no blackmail, no threats. It was just a heavy secret hanging between them, loosely tying their fates together.


End file.
